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how to steal
2001-12-23, 2:59 p.m.

okay so ive been getting emails on the latest of petty crime spree

theemed entries either saying that im morally objectionable or how the fuck do you do it?

ive decided to respond to the how the fuck do you do it? because it seems far more productive to spend my time helping.

first you have to understand stealing is not a crime but an art form

which means that everything has a purpose and its your mission to make sure it looks good.

so as im about to begin stealing for today im going to go through my thoughts

first make sure you look average or preppie. no one ever expects preps. for example today i am wearing diesel jeans a sweater and black shoes. modest makeup and a large coat.

it is always a good idea to have a large coat. especially since its winter, it looks normal.

next before you leave the house check yourself over. i took off my black nail polish and large rings. i know its pickey but its an art like i said.

the next step after youve past the visual test is to set an agenda.

like for example today im going to first return some dvds i stole. then in the same store i will scope out what i will steal later in the evening.

a fun part of the day is to come up with a complicated plan. because simply lift and go gets old after a while. its like sex do you want it always missionary. get creative.

well thats my advice so far.

wish me luck

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